


Song of the Heart

by NightshadeDawn



Series: The Hostesses [3]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:11:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightshadeDawn/pseuds/NightshadeDawn
Summary: Sam is damaged. That's what she's always told herself. She's quiet and shallow, and doesn't open up much to people. The only comfort from her darkened thoughts is her music. Then she stumbles into the Host Club. More specifically, Mori. Now, this wouldn't be a big thing. If it wasn't for one tiny problem, Sam's biggest reason for being damaged: she's terrified of guys.





	1. Lullaby of Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before the risin' sun, we fly  
> So many roads to choose  
> We'll start out walkin' and learn to run  
> And yes, we've just begun

        When I was a little girl, I was always told I was very perceptive. I knew, long before my mother even did, that she was pregnant with my little sister. My father told me it was because of my eyesight.

        So much better than anyone else's I'd ever met. I'd always been able to notice every little detail.

        My eyesight was so well, I was often able to see in the dark without a single light on. For this, many of my classmates gave me the symbol of an owl. It was on everything I owned. 

        But I quite liked it. It was something that defined me. 

        I remember going to a music recital when I was younger. For this, I was playing the piano.

        I was seven years old. I wore a black dress to compliment my shiny black pigtails, and Mother had allowed me to wear her silver tiara. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my seven years of life, walking over to the grand piano in the middle of the stage. My mother, father, and little sister watching from the front row.

        I sat down, and began a piece I'd written myself, with the help of my music teacher. It had been called " _Owl's Lullaby_ ". I was proud of the song. There were even some lyrics another of the girls from my class sang while I played. 

        " _Sing me to sleep, creature of the night. Under the silver moooooon. Open your eyes, as you take off in flight. Owl under the moon._ "

        A silly childish song, though it was, I was truly, extremely proud. 

        When I'd played the last notes, the girl from my glass and I took each other's hand and bowed to the audience. They clapped, and gave us a standing ovation. 

        When we came down the stairs, Mummy and Daddy presented me with a bouquet of yellow roses. 

        I smiled, and was happy. 

        But then the lights went out, and the show was over.

* * *

        I picked up the stack of papers from my dresser and got them all neat before setting them in a folder and putting the folder in my black shoulder bag. 

       I turned and caught sight of my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. I personally felt as if I didn't look half bad. 

       Short black hair, cropped close to my head. black eye liner around my eyes, made into a cat eye. Smokey eye shadow, and black lipstick. 

       The only off setting thing about my outfit was the yellow dress I wore as the uniform for the school I would now be attending. Ouran Academy.

        I really didn't think the dress was half bad. I actually rather liked it. Not like anyone else would ever know that.

        There came a knock at my open door as I sat down to lace up my black combat boots. 

       Penny poked her cheery face into the door, her glasses reflecting the light.

        "Morning, Sam," she said. "Becca's got breakfast all done, so you're going to want to get something to eat before we have to go."

        Penny wore the same yellow dress as I did, though it seemed to accent her more bright personality than mine.

        "Yeah, fine," I said. I turned back to my work of lacing up my boots. The uniform shoes weren't bad either, but none of them came in sizes for feet as small as mine. Or Coco's. Coco's were MUCH smaller than mine. Lizz actually had to tailor her uniform so she could have one.

        I listened as Penny's footsteps faded away, and in the distance I could hear Emily shouting. 

       "Let's see," I grumbled, pulling on my other shoe. "If Becca was cooking, Lizz is down there as well. Coco always goes out jogging in the morning. Penny came and talked to me. The only one left, it seems, is Mickey."

        I ran a hand through my hair, pulling out the tangles, as I grabbed my shoulder bag and slung it over my shoulder. I walked out of my room, leaving the door open, and over to the large staircase. 

       It- brought back memories. The polished, stained wood banister. The off-white steps. 

       I shook my head as I walked down. I walked into the kitchen just as Emily walked out a side door. 

       "Get up, lazy bones!" Emily exclaimed from the next room over. Mickey's. He could have used any room in the house, mansion more like it, but instead he chose the one closest to the garage. 

       Typical.

        "It's almost time for school!" Emily shouted in an exasperated tone.

        One could imagine with Mickey. He'd sleep till noon if he could.

        "Ugh. Why does it have to be so early?" Lizz complained as she and Becca sat at the table. 

       "We had to get up earlier at home," Becca reminded her as I stood at the stove.

        I put two kettles of water on it and let them start to boil. Then I sat down across from the two of them and Becca pushed a plate of eggs and bacon towards me. A buttered croissant also sat on the plate.

        "Morning everyone!" Penny cheerily exclaimed, bouncing into the room. She always seemed too chipper in the morning, and I couldn't help but grimace.

        Then Coco walked in through the door leading outside just as Emily pulled a disheveled but dressed Mickey into the room. Coco sat on my right and laid her head on the cool table top, groaning as she did so.

        The kettles began whistling and I got up from my seat. I took them off of the burner and poured water into seven cups. 

       "Where's my my hot chocolate?" Coco whined. 

       "Calm down, Coco. It's right here," I said simply, finishing my work in mixing the hot chocolate in the tea cup. I set the saucer in front of her and she smiled brightly up at me.

        "Thanks Sam," she said taking a drink of it. I nodded at her and returned to fixing the tea and hot chocolate for everyone.

        Everyone else pretty much had hot chocolate. Only me and Becca drank the tea.

        "Lizz!" Emily exclaimed as she and Mickey sat down. "You're not even dressed yet!"

        "So?" Lizz asked, leaning onto her hand and taking a sip from her cup. Then she wiped her bangs out of her face. "And I am dressed. It's not like I'm running around naked."

        Mickey chuckled. "I hope not," he said, leaning on the table and looking at Lizz. "The only person I want to see naked is Emily."

        "Shut it, Mickey," Emily said, and I could see the tips of her ears go pink.

        In irritation or embarrassment, I couldn't tell. Knowing Emily, though, I'd guess it was irritation at her boyfriend.

        Then Emily breathed deeply before turning to Lizz and Becca once again. "We _have_ to wear the uniform," she stated mater-of-factly. "I really don't want to deal with calls from the school because we're not wearing the school uniform."

        "So you mean-" Lizz began.

        "-we can change-" Becca continued.

        "-after the final bell?" they said as one. 

        Emily nodded. Then she smirked at the two as she gestured to her dress. "Do I look like I want to wear this hideous dress all day?" she questioned.

         _It's not hideous_ , I thought. But I bit the words back.

        "Besides," Emily continued, waving her finger about. "With our job after school it's not appropriate." Then she folded her arms and turned to Penny. "You get it all set up for us?"

        I watched as the girls got up from their seats and headed to their room. They were the only ones to share a room.

        I turned back just in time to see Penny shaking her head and looking down at the table, her long, copper hair getting in her face. I was glad I had such short hair. It couldn't do that.

        "Sorry, Emily," Penny said. "But since I haven't had a chance before today to go into the school, I don't know any empty rooms."

        "No biggie," Emily said, waving her off. "We'll all just look after school."

        Penny gave a sigh of relief as Emily turned her back. Emily's temper sure could be quite terrifying. I certainly didn't like being on the receiving end end of it.

        Then everyone was eating and talking animatedly while I just sat in my place watching them and continuing with my meal. Every so often, they'd ask my opinion on something, and I'd intervene with a "sure" or an "uh huh". But nothing out of the normal.

        Lizz and Becca returned, both in school uniforms, and joined us. 

        Then suddenly, Coco looked at the watch on her wrist and spit out her mouthful of hot chocolate. "It's time to go," she said. "We'll be late if we don't go."

        Emily nodded and we all stood. I finished my sweet tea and pulled my bag over my shoulder and proceeded to follow the others out of the house to the limo provided for us by the school.

        I sat apart from the other, only Coco by my side. She picked a lollipop out of her school bag and stuck it in her mouth. I watched her for a moment then turned my gaze out of the window.

        I watched as the buildings and roads and trees passed by in a blur. There, but detached. 

        I thought about the school. It would be filled with boys. Those of the male species. 

        Instantly after thinking this, images flashed through my mind. My heart began beating rapidly. My head pounded. I felt like I was going to be sick.

        I clenched my hands so tightly into fists, my knuckles turned white. Well, whiter. It was extremely hard to tell with my already pale skin.

        I scrunched my eyes up, willing the pain and thoughts to go away. Willing away the fear that controlled me.

        Then I felt a calloused hand on mine. I blinked open my eyes and looked down. Coco smiled up at me reassuringly. She squeezed my hand and the tension released. It was going to be okay. I knew that now. As long as I had Coco.

        The limo stopped and we all exited, me a bit more hesitant than the others, except perhaps for Penny. Emily literally had to drag her form the vehicle.

        I cringed inwardly when I saw them.

        Me and Coco walked to our classroom together. Emily thought it best that none of us be alone. So each of us shared a class with at least one other. All except Emily, but that was to be expected from the leader. Always going off on her own.

        We walked into class 1A. Apparently, the highest class for first years. Everyone else from our class was in their seats. The teacher looked up as us from his desk.

        "Oh, you must be the new transfer students," he said. "Welcome. Please, introduce yourselves to the class."

        "Okay!" Coco said, spinning on one of the tips of her toes. Then she skipped to the front of the class and bowed. The she looked up and smiled brightly at our classmates. "I'm Chloe Keeton, and I'm from America!" She closed her eyes and smiled even brighter. "But you can just call me Coco!"

        Everyone cooed at Coco then everyone turned their gazes to me.

        "Sam," was all I said, very dryly, too. They blinked at us as I followed Coco to our seats in the back of the class. 

        "Oh, well, um, alright then," the teacher said, capping his hands to get their attention and opening his book. "Now that that's been taken care of, let's get down to business."

        We were all told to take out our textbooks and to turn to page thirty-four.

        As I flipped through the pages in a board way, I picked up slight whispering.

        "What was her problem?" asked a brown haired girl. I could tell it was girl from her posture, eyebrows, eyes, and her voice. Girls voice changed very little, and her voice had already set in the tone it was going to stick to for the rest of her life. 

        Musician's ears.

        Then I heard a couple of twins whispering to each other. "Doesn't that short one remind you of Honey-senpai?"

        My ears perked, hoping they'd continue their conversation so I could find out who this "Honey-senpai" was, but the other twin just nodded after they were reprimanded. They continued their conversation in passed notes from them on.

        Class passed by without much excitement following that.

        After the final bell, me and Coco purposefully put our things away slowly. We waited for everyone to leave the classroom, and many to leave the school. Then we exited the classroom.

        I passed by the trashcan the notes had been thrown in and took it out to examine it. But the note was so scribbled over, I couldn't make anything out besides "empty music room".

        I tossed the crumpled note back in a trash afterwards.

        We walked to the bathroom we'd be meeting the others. The only one who had not arrived by the time we'd gotten there was Emily. She arrived soon after. 

        "I'm here," Emily said, breathing heavily. 

        "Come on," Coco whined. "I'm tired of this dress already!"

        Emily nodded and we entered the bathroom, leaving Mickey to guard it. Then Emily locked it behind us. 

        I pulled my yellow dress off to reveal a black spaghetti strap shirt, a black jean skirt, and a pair of black tights under it. Then I pulled some fingerless black fishnet gloves out of my bag, the edges lined with black lace. To finish my look, I put a black wire butterfly clip in my hair. My cap was hooked onto my belt at the moment.

        After stuffing my yellow dress in my bag, I began reapplying some of my makeup. Through the mirror I stood in front of, I could see Emily playing with Penny's hair. Just about the only times I'd ever seen her this at ease and peaceful was during these times.

        I finished applying my smoky eye shadow before pulling out my black lipstick and turning to Emily.

        "How long do you think it's going to take, Emily?" I asked. 

        Emily shrugged as she continued to braid Penny's hair. "Shouldn't be more than six months," she told me. "We don't even know what she looks like, so it'll be harder."

        I nodded sharply before turning back to my work. I put the finishing touches on my makeup and turned around. Coco finished fixing her pigtails in the mirror and turned to me with a devilish smirk, her white jacket billowing around her as she turned.

        Not the smile of which she had shown to our class. Not the fake, "love me, I'm adorable" act she put on in front of others. Her real kind of smile. A glint of mischief, a dash of strength, and a pinch of brat.

        Coco was cute, but if she'd ever heard me say that, she'd throw a tantrum like none other. And give me a headache while at it.

        "Come on," she said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me along. "Let's go." She stuck a lollipop in her mouth.

        I allowed Coco to drag me along and out of the bathroom while I slipped my cap on, the others following and going their own separate ways. 

        "So, where do you want to look?" Coco asked, looking up at me while sticking her hands in her pockets. I could see the indent of her hand gun in the fabric. She clenched it tightly in her fist.

        I turned forward and said "Music."

        Then Coco began shaking her head quickly. "Oh, nononono. You don't want to go there. The only unused music room is used for the Host Club," she quickly explained. 

        "Huh."

        I pulled my headphones over my cap and began listening to my music. Coco visibly sighed. "Fine, be like that," I read on her lips. She then took my wrist and the lead once again.

        We wandered the school, looking for a suitable room. We found a possible one in the science department, but we decided upon looking for something much easier. 

        Sometime later, my phone began buzzing from my hip. I pulled my headphones off to answer the text. It was from Emily. The second black box in the theater department was rarely used.

        "Penny found something," I said. 

        "Really?" Coco asked curiously. "Where?"

        I slipped my headphones on and walked off. 

        "Hey, wait!" Coco exclaimed. "Sam!"

        I continued walking. Coco whined loudly and grabbed the back of my shirt to attempt to make me stop. I continued walking.

        "Coco, let go."

        "No!" she shouted. "Tell me where we're going!"

        "You're acting like a child," I stated. 

        "I'm not a child!" Coco screeched. But she finally let go, but instead jogged next to me to keep up. "And stop changing the subject!"

        "You're going to rot your teeth with those thing," I said blankly. "And you'll get fat and won't be able to run anymore."

        Coco froze for a moment, allowing me to get several paces in front of her. 

        "I told you to stop changing the subject!" she yelled, running after me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizz: Oh, so THIS is the part where we do the introduction to the next chapter.  
> Becca: Actually, it's where Sam does it. Since it is her story.  
> Lizz: But she never talks anyway! Someone's got to do it.  
> Becca: You are absolutely right.  
> Lizz: Oh, hey, did you see that cute guy?  
> Becca: Which one are we talking about?  
> Lizz: Oh, tall, dark, and handsome in the library? You know, that one.  
> Becca: Oh, yes.  
> Sam: Shut up.  
> Lizz + Becca: You're no fun! Next time, in chapter two!


	2. Hymn of Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All our times have come  
> Here but now they're gone  
> Seasons don't fear the reaper  
> Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain,   
> We can be like they are

        The club was made, everything was set. I was in charge of music. 

        We were to have a more classical atmosphere, so I'd be playing the piano, my best instrument. From the fact I didn't want anyone to see me, I played behind a curtain on the stage. 

        No one would see me, no one would see who was behind the curtain. I'd be a mystery to everyone.

        Just like the Wizard of Oz.

        It had been two weeks since we'd come to the school, and we had only had one customer. 

        But Emily had a plan that as I looked through the library after school, she was putting into action.

        Coco was with me, looking for a book for one of her classes. I myself was just looking for an interesting read. 

        I reached up for a book, but it was _just_ out of my reach. I turned and looked around for the movable ladder, and I spotted it a few shelves down. But there was a group of boys hanging around on it, so I sharply turned and went back to my attempts at getting the book. 

        "Why can't- I- reach?" I grumbled, standing on my tip toes. I was about ready to climb onto the shelf to hoist myself up to reach it.

        Who the bloody hell cares if it ain't lady like?

        Just then, something incredibly solid and warm pressed against my back. I tensed and my heart began to beat wildly as an arm covered in blue reached past me and easily grabbed the book my fingertips grazed. 

        As it retracted, I turned and stared in horror at whoever was behind me. 

        The boy was tall. Very, very tall. That was my first thought. Over six foot tall. He had messy black hair and grey eyes that seemed to be entirely emotionless.

        My breath hitched as he held the book out to me.

        "Here," he said, his voice and face betraying no emotion.

        But I couldn't think anymore. My mind was zooming from one thing from the next. I couldn't consecrate. 

        My heart beat so fast that it felt like it would beat out of my chest. I had to run.

         _Run! Run! Get away from him! He's dangerous!_

        My breathing had become quick, labored. Irregular. I felt light headed. I felt as if I'd faint or puke, or both. 

        Instead, my flight instinct took over and I turned tail and ran.

        Subconsciously, I heard the clatter of the book being whipped from his hand and flying to the floor. 

        But I didn't stop. I ran through the bookshelves, getting lost in the large library. I somehow found my way onto the second floor of the library. 

        Then there were footsteps behind me. 

        In my adrenaline fueled state, I dashed down the long extent of the hallway I was in. Then I came to a door engraved with gold and threw it open.

        Upon entering the room, I slammed the door closed and leaned against it, trying to calm my breathing down.

        I gripped the fabric above my heart as tears stung at my eyes. I refused to let them fall.

        No way was I crying.

        I thought of my mother, my sister. I had to be strong, for them. To see them again.

        After a while, my rapid heart calmed down. 

        I took in a long, deep breath before releasing it and opening my eyes. 

        I stood and finally took a good look at the room I was in. 

        "It's a... music room..." I said breathlessly. 

        It wasn't quite obvious to anyone who didn't know music, because everything was covered in white sheets. But- I could tell. There were violins, cellos, trumpets, a harp.

        And in the middle of the room stood a piano.

        I threw the sheet off and looked at it in amazement.

        It completely took my breath away.

        Hesitantly, I reached out my hand. I pressed one of the keys, and a sweet note played out. Pleasant to the ears. The piano had just recently been tuned. 

        I couldn't keep the joy out of my heart as I sat down upon the cushioned bench.

        I pressed one key, then another. And another and another, and a melody played from my finger tips. 

        A familiar tune. One I relished playing. Beethoven's "Moonlight Serenade". They say only those who are broken may play it with justice. 

        No one had heard me play, but I'd heard broken people play on the streets of America and England. Whenever I played, I sounded so like them.

         _I'm damaged, aren't I? If not, why else would I fear?_

My fingers flowed over the keys like rain hitting the ground. I closed my eyes and swayed slightly with the music. It swelled up inside me so strongly, as if it would burst out at a moment's notice. 

        When the last note was played, the sound was still ringing in my ears. But for a moment, I'd forgotten my pain and fear. I'd let the music take over, and I was okay now. 

        I let out a sigh. 

        "I need to get it under control," I growled, clenching my fist in anger. _I can't keep doing that. Get over it, Sam! It's just a mind thing! It's all in your head!_

         _"You can run, but you can't hide forever, princess..."_

        I snapped around. I was alone. There was no one there. My heart sped up and I gripped the fabric over my chest as a shiver ran down my spine.

        "I could have sworn-" I said, my voice higher than usual. That voice- the same voice that haunted my nightmares. 

        I shook my head and shakily got to my feet. It was impossible. He couldn't have followed me. There was no way he knew where I was. There was no way he was out of jail.

        I found my bag near the door and picked it up, walking down the hallway in silence. 

        As I walked past the windows, an orange glow fell over me and bathed me in its light. In the distance, I could hear laughter and talking. 

        Everything was bright and beautiful, and I was just a dark blotch on the world.

        My boots thumped with each step I took, matching pace with my heart. I began humming a tune.

        "Hmm mmm, mmm mmm, doo do, mmm hmm. La la, lalala," I sang softly. I tapped my fingers on the wall in the same tune as I passed.

        I returned to the library, my heart beating erratically at the thought that the boy might still be there. I pushed the thought out of my mind. 

        If he was, he'd be treated just like all the others: ignored and, if it came down to it, hated.

        "Hey, keep it quiet down there, idiots! Some of us are actually _trying_ to work! This is a _library_ , you know!"

        I turned the corner to see Coco shouting down the banister at the noisy students on the lower floor. The table behind her was covered in books.

        "Rather be the pot or the kettle in this equation?" I asked as I sat down.

        "Sam!" Coco exclaimed. "Hi. Welcome back. I've got you bag. You left it downstairs earlier. You're always doing that."

        I huffed. "Thanks," I grumbled as I put my feet on the chair to my side.

        "Oh, and a boy came by. Said that this book was for you. Told you'd been trying to get it and you suddenly ran off." Coco slid a book over to me and my eyes widened as I looked at it. "He didn't scare you, did he? Boys are so insensitive..."

        It- It was the same book from earlier-!

        "Coco, I think it's time to go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Becca: What?! It's expected you join a club?  
> Lizz: Apparently.  
> Becca: But- But- But I don't want to join a club!  
> Lizz: We have to! Anyway, did you hear? Music club went and scouted Sam!  
> Becca: Really? Did she join?  
> Sam: Guys, I'm right here. And in case you've forgotten, we've got a job. We'll just have to make it an official club.  
> Lizz + Becca: Oooo! Right! Next time then!  
> Sam: Chapter 3.


End file.
